Chibi Vegeta
by Burenda
Summary: While summoning the Eternal Dragon, Trunks makes an accidental wish concerning his father. Now Vegeta is confronted with his own unkindness as, still fully cognizant, Chibi Vegeta learns firsthand what it's like to be treated like a baby. Discontinued.
1. Prologue

A/N: Buu Saga never happened. Gohan is in high school. Trunks is eight, Goten is seven, and, yes, Goku is still alive. I just can't find it in my heart to kill him. And besides, it's more fun with him the picture. *grins* 

Disclaimer: How do you know I'm not really Akira Toriyama in disguise? Maybe I DO own DBZ! Ha! Er... *sweats nervously as a pack of angry lawyers begins to circle her like a flock of buzzards* Never mind! I'm not Akira Toriyama, and I don't own DBZ. BACK OFF! AHHH!!! *runs away in terror as the lawyers chase after her* 

**Chibi Vegeta**   
(Prologue) 

For a moment, the only thing Trunks could see was stars swirling in front of his vision as his father's fist connected with his face with enough power to send him tumbling across the gravity room and crashing into the wall with a bone jarring impact. The eight year old demi-Saiyan slid limply to the floor, watching helplessly as the short man with black-flame hair stalked towards him wearing a look of pure disgust. 

"Get up, boy," Vegeta growled unsympathetically. "Or are you too weak to do even that?" Under the Saiyan Prince's mocking eyes, the lavender haired boy struggled to pick himself up off the floor, his body weighed down by the one hundred times Earth's gravity. But it was not to be. His young limbs were too shaky and exhausted to support his weight and he collapsed back to the cool tiles of the floor, a look of utmost shame on his face. "Pathetic," Vegeta snarled, reaching down to pick his son up by the collar of his shirt. 

Vegeta stalked over to the exit, still carrying Trunks in one hand, and slapped the release switch that both turned off the gravity and opened the door. The spiky haired prince unceremoniously tossed the battered demi through the door and folded his arms. "You are a disgrace to our people, brat!" he barked, glowering down at the huddled chibi from where he stood. "Get out of my sight, weakling, and do not return until you can at least put up a decent fight!" 

Turning on one heel, the arrogant Saiya-jin no Ouji allowed the door to shut behind him with an angry hiss. Thus it was that he didn't see his young son desperately trying to hold back the tears that formed in his crystal blue eyes. 

~*~ 

Trudging despondently through the halls of Capsule Corporation, Trunks eventually found himself walking through the front door of the complex and into the outside world. It just didn't seem to matter to his dad how hard he trained or how strong he got. It was _never_ good enough for the Prince of the Saiyans! Never mind the fact that Trunks was only eight years old and stronger than his dad or any other Saiyan had been at that age! 

"Trunks! Hey, Truuunks!" The childish voice of his best friend, Son Goten, startled the moody chibi out of his reverie, his eyes immediately going to the source of the greeting. Zipping in on a golden orange cloud was a seven year old boy with a mass of spiky black hair that stuck out in every direction, waving his arms enthusiastically to catch the older boy's attention. Upon seeing his fellow half-Saiyan, Trunks immediately perked up, waving back as the cloud flew close enough to drop the boy off. "Thanks, Kinto'un! You can go now! I'll call you back when I need you again." Patting the cloud with one hand before allowing it to speed off into the blue sky, Goten turned to his friend with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Trunks, guess what?!" 

"What, Goten?" Trunks asked, knowing from his friend's demeanor that it had to be something good. After the scene with his father, he could use something to cheer him up right about now. 

"I got the last dragonball!" the spiky haired chibi crowed, holding up an orange ball the size of a baseball in one fist. "Now we can make our wish, Trunks!" 

A thrill of excitement ran through the eight year old's veins as he snatched up the glittering orange sphere and performed a little dance of joy. "This is great, Goten! You don't know how much I've been wanting to go to our secret hideout the past couple of days. My dad's been really pissed off ever since that sparring match with your father where he got pounded into the ground." Remembering what Vegeta had said and done in the gravity room, Trunks's shoulders sagged a bit. "He's been taking it out on me every time he sees me, and especially when we train," he sighed, rubbing a developing bruise on one of his arms. "It's even worse 'cause we blew up our hideout by accident, and now I have nowhere to go when I just want to be by myself." 

"Gee, Trunks, I'm sorry," Goten sympathized, placing one hand on his friend's shoulder. "But now we have the dragonballs, and we can wish the hide out back!" he chirped with enthusiasm. 

"Right!" Grinning from ear to ear, the lavender haired chibi pushed his troubles aside for the moment and ran back inside the house with Goten hot on his tail. "We just have to get the dragonballs we collected out from under my bed, and then it's wish time! Mom's busy working on some invention or other, and dad's still training in the gravity room, so they're not gonna notice when we summon the Dragon. We just have to keep our ki hidden so your dad can't find us when he realizes what we're doing, or else he might stop us before we can make the wish." 

Pulling a box out from under his bed, Trunks opened it up to reveal six shining orbs, each with a different number of red stars floating inside them. He tossed in the last ball and watched with awe as the seven magic balls seemed to glow for a moment. "Okay, Goten, lets take the dragonballs outside!" 

It barely took a second as the two chibis raced outside with the box of balls, dumping them into the soft green grass before arranging them in what seemed to be a good pattern. Trunks glanced at his best friend, who smiled at him encouragingly, and took a deep breath. "Arise, great dragon, and grant our wishes!" he called out, a vague feeling of nervousness fluttering around in his gut. After all, it wasn't every day that you called on the powers of a wish-granting being who would actually grant those wishes! 

The dragonballs glowed a bright white for a moment before a great, scaly green dragon shot out of the center of them, reaching up for miles in a suddenly black sky, then lowered its head to examine the two creatures that had summoned it. Slithering its massive coils against each other, the Eternal Dragon Shenlong rumbled, "**YOU HAVE TWO WISHES, MORTALS. SPEAK WISELY, FOR THEY SHALL COME TRUE.**" 

"Shenlong, we wish that our hideout that we accidentally destroyed got restored to the way it was before we blew it up!" Trunks bravely shouted up at intimidating Dragon, refusing to act like a coward in front of his friend. 

The dragon's eyes glowed a bright shade of crimson before it spoke again. "**IT IS DONE. NAME YOUR SECOND WISH.**" 

Opening his mouth, the eight year old paused and glanced at Goten in confusion. "Goten, we never decided on a second wish," he said, raising an eyebrow as though to ask if the other boy knew what to do. 

"Gee, Trunks, what should we wish for?" Goten lifted a hand to scratch the back of his head uncertainly, his eyebrows scrunched down in thought. 

After a moment, Trunks bowed his head and kicked at a rock. "Well, sometimes I think it would be nice if I were stronger. Then maybe dad would respect me," he sighed dolefully. "It's not fair, Goten! He treats me like a baby! It's like he doesn't even know what it's like to be a kid! I wish he knew what it was like to be treated like a baby! Then maybe he wouldn't be so-" 

"**YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED. FARE WELL.**" With these parting words, the Eternal dragon shone a brilliant white, then vanished as the seven balls shot off in seven different directions. The sky returned to its normal shade of blue, the birds chirped obliviously, squirrels romped playfully in the grass, and two boys gaped in shock at the place where there had once been a giant dragon. 

"But," the older boy stammered, "I didn't make a wish." 

"Yes, you did, Trunks," Goten corrected, blinking away his surprise. "You said you wished your dad knew what it was like bein' treated like a baby." Pausing to contemplate the implications of this wish, the black haired boy brightened optimistically. "Hey, maybe the wish worked and now Vegeta won't be so mean!" 

"You... think so, Goten?" Trunks asked, a spark of hope dancing in his eyes. If it was true, then he couldn't have made a better wish even if he'd tried! 

"Come on, let's go find out!" Grinning broadly, the younger demi-Saiyan grabbed his friend's hand and darted off in the direction of the ki that belonged to the proud Prince of the Saiyans. 

~*~ 

With a final grunt of exertion, Vegeta discontinued his pushups and calmly walked over to the gravity controls, wiping a hand across his sweaty brow while turning the five hundred times Earth's gravity off. Stepping out of the gravity room, he grabbed a towel and began to rub the perspiration off his spandex-clad body, a satisfied smirk on his face as he thought on the progress he had made today. Soon he would be able to beat that blasted, no good, third class idiot and prove once and for all who the superior fighter was, thus reclaiming his rightful place as the Prince of _all_ Saiyans. 

A sudden wave of dizziness overcame the short prince, causing him to drop the towel and hold his hands to his head. Staggering, he dropped to his knees as the feeling only intensified, distorting his vision and senses. Suddenly, everything seemed... bigger, and the spandex that hugged his body released its grip, no longer clinging to him like a second skin but instead seemed loose and overly large. 

"What the hell?" he muttered his bewilderment, collapsing to the floor as his body seemed to lose all its strength, no longer able to support himself in an upright position. Laying there on the floor, he struggled to lift his head and perhaps look around for some clue as to the source of this sudden weakness. All he saw was blue, the same color of his spandex body suit, only there was too much material laying bunched up on the floor and on top of him. _Where the hell did that come from?_ he wondered to himself as he stared at the blue spandex, brow furrowed in thought. _And how did it get on top of me without my noticing? _Kicking the thing off his body, he weakly crawled out the folds of cloth and onto the bare tile, cursing the fact that even this simple act seemed to require more effort than it should. 

Momentarily winded by the physical exertion of freeing himself from the mysterious cloth, Vegeta allowed himself to flop belly down on the floor, grateful that neither his mate nor his son was there to see him in such an undignified position, too weak even to get up off the floor. A wave of exhaustion washed over him and he instinctively rolled onto his side, curling up into a fetal position. He didn't understand why he was so tired all of a sudden. While he _had_ been pushing his body to its limits and he would naturally be feeling some fatigue, it shouldn't be anywhere close to what he was experiencing right now! 

The unexpected feel of fur against bare skin drew his attention to the fuzzy brown tail that had wrapped itself around one of his arms, and he suddenly became aware of two things. One, somehow, he was no longer wearing any clothing whatsoever. Two, he had a tail. _When did my tail grow back?_ he silently wondered, staring in utter fascination at the furry appendage as he experimentally uncurled it and waved it in front of his face. On impulse, he reached out with one of his hands to grab the thing, missing by a few inches when the tail flicked away. Determination etched itself on his features and he made another grab for the wayward appendage as it once again waved into his reach. This time he caught it, and he brought it close to his face so he could examine it more closely. For some reason he couldn't explain, it was the most interesting thing in the world and he couldn't help but watch in fascination as the fur parted between his little fingers. 

"He's in here, Goten! His ki is really low, but I can still feel him." Vegeta could recognize his son's voice as it drifted to his ears from the hallway. He didn't know whether he should panic or be grateful, since Trunks would now see him lying on the floor like a weakling, but might also be able to figure out what's wrong with him and help remedy the problem. 

"What do you think's wrong with him, Trunks?" Cursing inwardly, the prince suddenly realized that the cursed spawn of Kakarot was accompanying his son and so would also witness his humiliation. 

"I don't know, Goten," Trunks's disembodied voice replied. "His ki dropped so suddenly, it's like he was in a fight. But there's no one here except him!" 

Dropping his tail, Vegeta obeyed the childish desire to run and hide, releasing his tail so he could pull himself to his hands and knees. Crawling seemed to be the only way he could move while under the influence of... whatever it was that was making him so damn weak, so crawl he would. Anything to avoid being seen by the little clone of Kakarot! 

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that not only did his condition make him too weak to stand, it also slowed him down to a literal baby's crawl, so he had only managed to travel a few feet before his son and the boy's friend burst into the ante-chamber of the gravity room. Sighing in defeat, the Saiya-jin no Ouji stopped in his tracks and shoved himself in a sitting position to meet whatever fate had in store for him with as much dignity as he could muster. His brow furrowed in puzzlement when he looked up to find the two chibis literally towering over him. _How the hell did they get so tall?!_

As Goten and Trunks stared down at the naked baby sitting on the floor not far from one of Vegeta's spandex suits, they gulped simultaneously and traded nervous looks. "Uh... Trunks? I think you made a mistake..." 

~*~ 

At this point, I don't know what I'm aiming to get out of this fic. I don't know exactly how funny it will be, and I already know it won't have much in the way of "action." Mostly what I intend to do is torment Vegeta in a fluffy kind of humorous way (that's the best way I can figure to word my intentions). Very little in the way of what I think of as plot, though I doubt it will be _completely_ plotless (I have no idea if I can even WRITE something that's completely devoid of plot.) I guess that I'm writing this fic mostly for my own amusement. Hope you enjoy reading it anyway. ^_^ 

Questions, comments, quandaries, constructive criticism, suggestions, ideas, praise, etc. always welcome. ^_^ 


	2. Whose Baby?

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. 

**Chibi Vegeta**   
(Whose Baby?) 

A look of horrified realization dawned on Trunks's face as he stared down at the baby with black, flame-shaped hair and a fuzzy brown tail sprouting from his backside. The baby's eyes were wide open, as though startled by something he saw, and though the black irises that stared up at the demi were larger than he was used to seeing, he could recognize those eyes anywhere. The familiar eyes, hair, and facial features, combined with the discarded spandex on the floor, were enough to let Trunks know exactly who he was looking at. 

"Dad?" he squeaked, dropping to his knees in front of the baby, no longer able to support his weight as his legs turned to jelly. All he could do was stare in stunned horror at the tiny Saiyan baby staring up at him. 

_And who else would I be, baka?!_ Vegeta opened his mouth to growl, but all that came out was: "Addoo abaa ka?" The Saiyan Prince's eyes widened even further at the sound of his own words spoken in a childish gibberish that lost all of the menace he had tried to put behind the words. If it weren't for the fact those those words were coming from _his_ mouth, he'd say they sounded almost... cute, innocent, and, in every sense of the term, un-Saiyanlike. _What the hell?!_

"Uhh... Trunks? Why does your dad have a tail? I thought it got cut off...." Goten trailed off uncertainly. After all, that had all happened long before he was born, so he only knew what his dad and his brother told him in their stories. Having never seen a Saiyan's tail before, he was naturally curious about the furry appendage he saw waving lazily behind the chibi sitting on the floor. He reached a hand out to touch the object in question, only to have Vegeta bat at it with a chubby little fist. 

_Hands off, third class!_ Vegeta tried to growl, but, once again, his mouth just wouldn't form the words. "Hadda thaca!" he burbled incoherently, swinging his fist again in an attempt to ward off the cursed spawn of Kakarot. It was then that he truly noticed the altered condition of his body, and not just the fact that he now had a tail! Staring at his _little, chubby_ fist, it finally dawned on him that there was something terribly, terribly wrong with him, and it wasn't just that he was feeling weak. His eyes traveled down the lengths of his unclothed body - his small, undeveloped, _child's_ body! _What the hell?!?!_ he yelped. "Wadaha!" 

"I don't know, Goten," Trunks replied doubtfully, trying to ignore the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Watching as his chibi father began to twist and turn his head as though trying to examine his body, he added, "I only said I wished for dad to know what it's like to be treated like a baby. Nothing about his tail..." 

That caught Vegeta's attention. _WHAT?!_ Snapping his head up so hard it almost hurt, he gave the brat his best glare, even as he growled, _What the _hell_ do you mean by that, boy?! You mean you _wished_ me like this _on purpose_?!_ All that emerged form his lips, though, was another string of incoherent burbling, which only served to add fuel to the raging inferno that was currently the prince's conscious mind. 

Goten couldn't help it. He giggled and pointed at the scowling Vegeta. "Look, Trunks, your dad's pouting! I've never seen Vegeta pout before!" Looking thoughtful for a moment, he turned to look at his friend and said, "Well, maybe the dragon turned him back into what he looked like as a baby, an' since he had a tail when he was a baby, he has a tail now." 

_I am _not_ pouting!_ Vegeta pouted silently, waving his fist in protest. Even so, he listened intently to the conversation the two boys were having. 

Surprised by the seven year old's logic, Trunks mulled the words over in his mind before speaking. "Y'know, that actually makes sense, Goten. I must be rubbing off on you or something." He frowned as he pondered all the possible implications that this new twist to his wish might have. "D'ya think maybe dad's mind is still the same? I mean, can he understand us? Or did the wish turn him into a baby in his mind, too?" 

_Of course I can understand you, idiot!_ Vegeta opened his mouth to say, but stopped as he caught sight of his lashing tail. Inexplicably, all previous thoughts were thrown out the window and he lunged at the twitching appendage, falling on his side in the process. His quarry flicked within reach and, without thinking about what he was doing, he grabbed his tail and promptly stuffed the tip in his mouth, sucking on it contentedly. 

Gaping in open shock, Trunks shook his head dazedly and answered his own question. "Never mind, Goten. If my dad was aware of what he was doing, he would have _never_ done that!" A bead of sweat rolled down the back of his head as Vegeta continued to happily suck away. 

_What?_ Vegeta blinked and suddenly became aware of what he was doing. His eyes widened when he realized that he, the Prince of all Saiyans, had just chased his tail and, upon catching it, had started sucking on the tip like... like a baby! _I did _not_ do that!_ he yelled in denial, pulling the slobbery tail out of his mouth and dropping it like a hot coal. "Dadan judat!" Rolling onto his back, he waved his arms in an attempt to catch Trunks's attention. _I _can_ understand you! I am not a child! I... I don't know why I just did that, but don't let that fool you!_

Unfortunately for Vegeta, the lilac haired demi-Saiyan's attention was no longer on his father, his head turned so that he could look at Goten questioningly. "What should we do, Goten? The dragonballs won't work for another year, so we can't wish my dad back to normal!" 

"Well, maybe your mom could think of something. Y'know, make a machine or something that'd make your dad older?" the black haired demi suggested. 

"But mom'll kill us when she finds out we turned dad into a baby!" Trunks protested, a panicked edge creeping into his voice. "Even if it _was_ an accident!" 

"But, Trunks, what else _can_ we do?" Goten whimpered fearfully, just as worried about Bulma's wrath as his friend was. "She's gonna find out anyway, eventually!" 

"I-" Trunks paused as Goten's words sank in completely, then slumped in defeat. "You're right, Goten. Might as well get it over with quickly, huh?" he said miserably as he turned to stare helplessly at the squirming baby Vegeta. "Well, if we're gonna do it, best do it now. Pick my dad up, will ya, Goten?" 

"Huh? Why me?" The seven year old scrambled to his feet and backed away hastily, waving his hands in protest. 

"Because I said so, baka!" Trunks stood up and folded his arms imperiously, giving his friend a regal stare that would have made his father proud. "And since I'm a prince, you have to do what I say!" 

"But he's _your_ dad, Trunks!" Goten squawked, darting a nervous glance the little boy on the floor who seemed to be scowling at him as though daring him to try to pick him up. "An' he's a prince, too, so... uh... only princes can carry other princes, and since I'm not a prince, you have to carry him!" Chibi or no, Vegeta was still Vegeta, and Goten had absolutely no desire to get that close the the grouchy old... er... young prince. 

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Trunks bent over and gingerly picked his father up. "Fine, then, scaredy cat! I'll carry my dad and _you_ can explain to my mom what happened!" Smirking in triumph, he quickly walked towards the door and into the hall, awkwardly trying to keep a hold of his fleshy burden without dropping or hurting him. He'd never held a baby before, so if his technique in packing the little prince was less than perfect, no one would blame him. Other than the uncomfortable Vegeta, of course. 

"What?!" Goten yelped, scampering after his retreating friend. "But... but that's not fair, Trunks! You're the one who made the wish! It's not my fault!" 

"Then you should have carried my dad!" Trunks shot back over his shoulder as he headed towards his mother's lab, thinking that he had gotten the better end of the deal. He didn't see the small smirk crossing his best friend's face, a smirk that looked dangerously close to the one known to grace both the faces of Vegeta and Trunks. 

"Okay, Trunks, but if I have to tell your mom what happened, then _you_ have to tell _my_ mom what happened!" the younger demi stated firmly, his eyes glinting victoriously. The smirk on his face broadened slightly when he saw the lavender haired boy stop dead in his tracks, the blood draining from his face. 

"On second thought, Goten," Trunks gulped hastily, giving his friend a nervous glance. "Why don't I explain everything to my mom, and you can tell your mom what happened." Yes, they both knew which of the two mothers was the more feared. An angry Son Chi-Chi, armed with a voice that could cut through iron and a much dented frying pan, was enough to bring fear to even the bravest of warriors. Even Bulma, the second most dangerous female on the planet - as far as the boys were concerned, anyway - knew better than to get in Chi-Chi's way when she was on the war path. 

And speaking of which.... Trunks paled as he realized that they had reached the door to his mother's lab. After all, Bulma Briefs might not be Son Chi-Chi, but she was _not _someone to be trifled with. Swallowing a lump of fear, he awkwardly shifted Vegeta to a position where he could hold the baby with one arm, leaving his other arm free to turn the knob on the door. The door swung open on silent hinges, allowing all three to get a good look at what lay waiting in the room beyond. 

All while the boys had been arguing, Vegeta had been glaring darkly up at them, annoyed that they would decide who would carry him without consulting _him_. He made several attempts to catch their attention, but they continued to ignore him, engrossed as they were in their own debate, and he _hated_ being ignored! Unfortunately, it didn't seem like there was anything he could do about it. _Idiot brats_, he muttered irritably. "Idabats." 

Now his son was carrying him in a rather uncomfortable position as they made their way to Bulma's lab. Vegeta didn't know what to feel about that. On the one hand, the woman might very well be able to come up with some means to return him to normal, but on the other hand, he wasn't exactly sure that he wanted her to see him in this condition. He could only imagine her reaction, and he was more than certain that it would be damaging to his pride. Eyeing the room through the open door, he half hoped that Bulma wouldn't be in there, despite his desire to regain his adult body as soon as possible. 

"Oh, hey Trunks, hey Goten," Bulma cheerfully greeted the two boys as they walked into the room, dashing whatever hopes Vegeta had that she might be out running errands. The beautiful blue haired woman waved absentmindedly as she peered through a magnifying glass at something on her table, obviously only half aware of their presence. After another moment examining whatever it was, she set the tool down and straightened up, stretching her back to get the kinks out. "Did you need something? I was just-" She cut herself off abruptly as she caught sight of black haired chibi in Trunks's arms, her whole face lighting up with delight. "Awwwww!! Who's this? He looks so _cute_!!" she cooed, walking over to her son so she could pluck Vegeta out of his arms. Cradling him in one arm, she used her free hand to pinch his cheek affectionately. 

Needless to say, Vegeta did _not_ like that. Growling deep in his throat - a sound that ended up more like a gurgle than a growl - he balled up a fist and swung it at the offending woman's hand. _I am _not_ cute!! And if you pinch my cheek again, I swear, onna, I will find a way to make you regret it!_ "Nodagoo! Finchee gaa natawa magetit!" Unfortunately, Saiyan though he was, he was too weak in this form to do any damage to Bulma, his tiny fist bouncing harmlessly off her soft skin as soon as it connected. _Surely I wasn't _this_ weak when I was a child!_ he thought in puzzlement, his tail curling lazily around his wrist as he pondered the matter over. Even though he honestly couldn't remember how strong he had been at... whatever age he was now, he felt certain that no matter his age he should have been stronger than a mere human female! 

"Umm... mom?" Trunks began hesitantly, only to be completely ignored as Bulma's keen eyes latched onto furry brown tail wrapped around Vegeta's wrist. Eyes widening in shock, she deftly flipped him over in her hands so he was hanging over one arm like a folded towel, eliciting a squawk of indignation from the chibi prince. His tail uncurled from his wrist and waggled in the air behind him to help him maintain balance in his precarious position, not to mention proving without a doubt that the thing was quite real and definitely attached to his backside. 

"He has a tail!" Bulma gasped, staring in momentary shock at the spot where Vegeta's tail sprouted from his back. Blinking her eyes as though to clear her mind, she turned him back over in her arms so she could stare at his face thoughtfully, a growing twinkle of delight sparkling in her eyes. "That means he's a Saiyan! Well, part Saiyan, anyway. Whose baby is he, Trunks?" A bubbling laugh emerged from her throat as she swung Vegeta around, not even waiting for an answer from her young son. "No, wait, let me guess! He can't be Goku's!" 

_Damn right, onna!_ Vegeta exclaimed, disgusted by the very thought of it. "Danat na!" _The very idea... _Me_, the Prince of all Saiyans, the son of that third class idiot! I've never been more insulted in all my life!_

Oblivious to the expression on the chibi's face, the blue haired scientist babbled on. "I _know_ Chi-Chi hasn't had another kid, and Goku would _never_ cheat on her! Hmm... say, he looks a little like Vegeta, but that's ridiculous. _Vegeta_ can't be the dad." 

_Hmph. That's even _less_ likely than the third class baka going behind his mate's back._ Grumbling irritably, the Prince of the Saiyans began to feel a little dizzy from being swung around. Fortunately, Bulma either picked up on this fact, or she just got tired of swinging him, because she stopped spinning and simply cradled the Saiyan baby in her arms. 

"I mean, he trains 24/7 and he barely even tolerates humans!" 

_Brilliant observations, onna,_ Vegeta sarcastically interjected. _Not to mention the fact that I have absolutely no desire to bed other women. One female is bad enough!_ He had temporarily given up on trying to verbally communicate to the three idiots, resigned, for now, to comment silently. The stupid child's mouth that he had to speak with had an annoying habit of making whatever he said unintelligible, and thus was completely disregarded. 

"Uhh... mom..." Trunks tried again, and once again ignored. 

"Besides, I don't think he'd cheat on me, either. I don't think there's another woman in the universe who could put up with that bakayaro, and Vegeta's not the type to have a one-night fling." The thought of that was ludicrous enough to make Bulma chuckle. Vegeta merely snorted - or tried too. It ended up sounding more like a sneeze. "So if he's not Goku's, and he's not Vegeta's, then that must mean..." You could almost see the pieces fall into place behind Bulma's cerulean eyes, her whip-like mind putting two and two together to get... 

_Yes, yes, woman, it means that I'm really _me_, Vegeta, the Saiya-jin no Ouji! But I've been turned into a child! And now that you've figured that out, get to work on finding a way to change me back!_

"You must be _Gohan's_ baby!" she squealed excitedly. Behind her, Trunks and Goten were staring at her with shocked disbelief, beads of sweat rolling down the backs of the heads as they nearly lost their balance. Weakly raising a hand in protest, the lavender haired demi opened his mouth to correct his mother, but Bulma was too excited by her 'discovery' to let her son get a word in edgewise. "Oh, you're so adorable! Yes, you are! Gohan never even told me he had a girlfriend! Oh, I wonder who she is? Maybe that Videl girl in his class that he's been talking about so much? Does Chi-Chi know she has a grandson? No, of course not! If she did, she'd have told me all about him. Oooh, she's going to be so _thrilled_ when she finds out she has a grandchild! I can't _wait_ to call her!" 

For all of five seconds, Vegeta was stunned speechless, his mouth hanging open in shock. _Gohan's... baby... She thinks I'm... She thinks I'm... _It finally sank in. _I AM NOT THE SON OF THAT LOW CLASS, PEACE LOVING, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HALF BREED SAIYAN!!!!!_ "WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Vegeta squalled at the top of his lungs, unaware that his protest had been translated into a rather undignified bawling. 

Unruffled, Bulma calmly shifted the child to rest against one shoulder while she patted his back comfortingly. "There there, it's okay. I bet you're cold! You've been running around for who knows how long without any clothes or a diaper! I'd be upset, too," she cooed. "Just let me call your grandmother, and then I'll go see if I have any of Trunks's old things to put on you." If anything, Vegeta's cries only increased in volume. Completely unfazed, she turned towards the phone on her desk, armed with the happy news of Chi-Chi's grandmotherhood and intent on sharing that information with her friend. 

"Mom, wait!" Trunks yelped, desperately pouncing on the phone before Bulma could reach it. "You can't call Chi-Chi!" 

"And why not?" the blue haired woman demanded irritably, annoyed about being thwarted, no matter how temporarily. "Chi-Chi deserves to know that her son is a father now! I can see why Gohan might have wanted to keep it secret, seeing as how he had a child _before_ he got married, but judging by how old the boy looks to be, I'd say that secret's been kept long enough!" Eyeing the sniffling baby in her arms, she clarified herself by saying, "Just guessing, I'd say he's a year old, give or take a month, and a year is _definitely_ more than long enough to keep something like this a secret! Now get off the phone, Trunks, or I'm cutting off your computer privileges for a month!" 

"But that isn't Gohan's baby!" the eight year old demi-Saiyan protested desperately. "That's dad!!" 


	3. It's My Tail And I'll Cry If I Want To!

Disclaimer: I don't really feel like writing a disclaimer. I'm tired, I'm sore, and I just wanna post this and go to bed. (Can anyone tell I'm writing the disclaimer after I wrote the chapter?) Anyway, all you'll get from me is a plain vanilla "I don't own DBZ." 

**Chibi Vegeta**   
(It's My Tail And I'll Cry If I Want To!) 

Trunks watched nervously as his mother absorbed the information - well, he _thought_ she was absorbing the information. It was hard to tell, as her eyes had a rather glazed look to them at the moment. Slowly, oh so slowly, Bulma's unblinking eyes traveled from her son to the baby she was holding against her shoulder, and she carefully lowered him to get another good look at his face. Vegeta, who had stopped crying when his son had revealed his identity, stared solemnly up at his mate, waiting for her to react. 

After another few moments of watching his mom stare blankly at his dad, Trunks began to worry that maybe the shock had overloaded Bulma's mind. Taking a few hesitant steps toward the blue haired genius, the eight year old boy floated above the ground a foot or two so he was eye level with his mother. Bulma's crystal blue eyes didn't even twitch at the movement, fixated completely on the spiky haired child in her arms. 

"Uhh... mom? Are you all right?" Trunks asked, his voice tinged with concern. When he still got no response, he waved a hand in front of her face, hoping to distract her enough to catch her attention. No response. Waving his hand again, he silently prayed to Kami that his mother hadn't completely lost her mental stability, and that he wouldn't have to commit her to an insane asylum. 

Like water rushing from a broken dam, Bulma suddenly broke out in peals of helpless laughter. "Vegetahahaha!! Vegeta's a... Vegeta's a... hehehe!! Vegeta's a _baby_?!" Another set of giggles overtook her as she collapsed back into her chair, clutching the chibi to her chest to keep from dropping him. As her laughter continued for another minute or so, Goten sweatdropped and cast his friend a look that said, _'Your mom's a nutcase, Trunks.'_ Trunks sighed and nodded his agreement with his friend's assessment. 

_I fail to see what the hell is so funny!_ Vegeta mentally raged, struggling to free himself from his mate's grip._ Woman, let go of me! I can't breathe!_ The poor, unfortunate chibi - the position Bulma was inadvertently holding him in placed his face directly in between her breasts, and try as he might, he could not seem to turn his head to a point where he could comfortably breathe. He was either simply too weak - which he sincerely hoped was _not_ the case - or Bulma was actually stronger than he'd realized. Still pathetic compared to a Saiyan, but maybe strong enough to overpower a Saiyan baby with ease. After all, she'd been adventuring and living with Saiyans since she was sixteen years old; it stood to reason she might have developed _some_ strength from all that! 

Fortunately for the chibi prince's continued health, Bulma recovered from her fit and pulled Vegeta away from her chest, slipping her hands underneath his armpits so she could hold him out at arm's length and look him over. Gulping sweet air gratefully, Vegeta allowed himself to dangle there without complaint - well, for now at least - glad to be out of the suffocating embrace. That is, until the blue haired woman suddenly put her face in front of his and rubbed his nose with hers! 

"Oh, Vegeta! Why didn't you _tell_ me you were such an adorable baby?!" she exclaimed, grinning and rubbing noses again for good measure. Vegeta's eyes widened in indignation, preparing to growl out a protest, but Bulma wasn't done yet! Laying the naked chibi down in her lap, she tickled his chin and ruffled his spiky hair affectionately. 

_Stop that, onna! This is serious! Now shut up and let the brat explain - seeing as how I can't seem to form even the simplest of words with this damn child's mouth - so you can get to work on returning me to normal!_ Almost as an afterthought, he added, _And I'm not 'adorable'! _"Naddobal!" 

"Umm... mom? He can't understand you," Trunks interjected, seeming somewhat reluctant to bring the conversation back to the important issue at hand. 

_Yes, I can!_ Vegeta cut in angrily, waving a fist at his son. "Assaca!" _You just made a false presumption based on circumstantial evidence!_

"What? How do you know that, Trunks?" Bulma blinked, ignoring the baby in her lap so she could glare at the lavender haired boy and his friend suspiciously. "And just how exactly _did_ your father end up like this?" 

Gulping nervously, the guilty duo exchanged glances, Goten silently encouraging his friend to continue. They were in too deep to back out now. Deciding to tackle the easier of his mother's questions, Trunks stepped forward and picked Vegeta's tail up. "Goten and I think he's a baby in his mind, too. Here, watch. You'll see what I mean." 

_What are you doing, brat? Let go of my tail! _A small growl escaped from the baby's throat as he grabbed at his tail, determined to pull it from his son's hands. Surprisingly, Trunks didn't resist at all, allowing Vegeta to free his tail without any struggle whatsoever. _Hmph. Good for you, brat. Now if only you'd listen to the _other_ things I've been trying to tell you!_ He didn't realize that he hadn't actually spoken out loud this time - or tried to - as he clutched his tail protectively to his chest. _Now to figure out what it was you wanted to show the onna to prove that I'm a baby... _Pondering the matter over, he started to suck on the tip of his tail thoughtfully. _Once I find out, I'll do exactly the opposite and prove that I _can_ understand you!_

"You're right," Bulma giggled suddenly, for no discernible reason that Vegeta could see. "Vegeta would never do that if he was in his right mind." 

_Huh? Do what?_ The chibi sucked furiously at his tail, eyes darting back and forth as he tried to think of what it was he could possibly be doing to convince them that he wasn't in complete possession of his mental facilities. Unable to see whatever it was they were referring to, the spiky haired prince scowled and removed one hand from his tail so he could make a fist and wave it angrily at the two idiots. _I'm not _doing_ anything, you bakas! What the hell gives you the idea that I'm 'not in my right mind'?!_ "Nnnathee bagaka! Mmmarammyn!" he mumbled around a mouthful of tail. 

Smiling in amusement, Bulma rubbed Vegeta's bare tummy even as she turned her attention back to her son. "Okay, so that explains how you know he's a child in mind as well as body. Now," she narrowed her eyes suddenly, "how did Vegeta get turned into a baby?" 

The lilac haired boy scuffed at the ground with one foot, guiltily avoiding eye contact with his mother. "Well, y'see, a while back, me an' Goten accidentally blew up our secret hide out." He glanced swiftly at his seven year old friend for support, then took a deep breath and continued. "We gathered the dragonballs so we could, you know, wish the hide out back, and then we had one more wish and we didn't know what to wish for and..." Remembering what it was that had made him screw the wish up in the first place, Trunks dejectedly rubbed his bruised arm. "Dad and I had been sparring right before this, and I'm still not really strong enough to keep up with him... But he treats me like I'm a baby!" he protested angrily. "It doesn't matter how hard I try, I'm still 'too weak' to meet his standards!" A small sigh escaped the boy's lips and he felt the brief flash of anger fade. "I was _going_ to wish that I was stronger, so dad would respect me and be proud of me, but... Well, I kinda accidentally wished that dad knew what it was like to be a baby," he finished lamely. 

Still oblivious to the tail in his mouth, Vegeta glared furiously at his son, hardly believing what he had just heard. _I do _not_ treat you like a baby, brat! If I did, I wouldn't even bother to spar with you at all!_ He was angry, damn it! His own son had wished him into a... a helpless infant, unable to fend off even one stupid onna who kept rubbing at his tummy! Distracted by said belly rubbing, Vegeta tried to bat at Bulma's fingers to discourage her from continuing her annoying actions. Unfortunately, Bulma only seemed to find this entertaining, grabbing his tiny fist and bouncing it up and down as though she was trying to shake his hand. Vegeta was _not_ amused. 

Her attention still on the baby she was playing with, Bulma's words, however, were aimed at the eight year old boy waiting uncertainly for her reaction. "So, let me get this straight. You took the Dragon - radar without permission - ran off who knows where to collect the dragonballs - again, without permission - and then you used the dragonballs - without permission or even thinking about what your second wish would be - to fix your hide out... and then you accidentally changed your father into a baby. Did I get everything?" She glanced at Trunks long enough to catch the weak nod of his response, then returned her gaze to chibi Vegeta to buy herself enough time to organize her thoughts. She couldn't help but smile fondly as the destroyer of worlds and Prince of a race of fierce warriors continued to suck on his tail, one hand curled around the fuzzy appendage and the other caught in Bulma's hand. "Well, I can't argue that he had it coming," she finally said, startling all three Saiyans. "I've always told the baka that he needed to ease up on you, but would he listen? Nooo..." Rolling her eyes in exasperation, the blue haired genius brushed a lock of hair out of the baby's eyes. "'Woman!'" she growled in a fair imitation of Vegeta's voice. "'Do not tell me how to train my son!' Stubborn idiot. But anyway, to return to the subject at hand, you still broke some pretty important rules, mister! Both of you!" Bulma tightened her lips firmly and scowled at Goten and Trunks, who ducked their heads sheepishly. "Well, let the punishment fit the crime, I always say. Until I figure out a way to return Vegeta to normal, you two are going to help me take care of him!" 

Trunks blinked. That was it? No ranting, no thrown objects, no suspended computer privileges, or extra chores? He couldn't believe his luck - 

"Oh, and Trunks? Goten?" Bulma cut into his mental celebration. "Taking care of babies is a _lot_ of work, as I should know. You'll be helping feed him, change his diapers, play with him - _baby_ games, not sparring - pick up after him, and keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get into any trouble." Just like that, reality crashed down on the two demis' heads and the groaned simultaneously. No, they might not be having the usual kind of punishment - what they now faced was much, much worse. "Goten," she continued, "you only have to help out when you come to visit - which had better be at least once a week, or I'll have to call Chi-Chi! You're getting off easier than Trunks, since he _is_ the one who made the wish in the first place." She still intended to call her friend anyway, as the news of her husband's... condition... was just too big to keep to herself! She'd probably find out on her own anyway, so there was no real point in keeping it secret. 

Exchanging sighs of resignation, Goten and Trunks nodded their heads meekly and accepted their punishment, since there wasn't much else they _could _do. They knew from experience that protesting would only earn them added punishment. Vegeta, however, was outraged at the thought of having to suffer through the two brats' care taking, of being _fed, _and _diapered_, and generally being treated like a helpless, mindless _child_ - even if that was exactly what he was at the moment (minus the mindless part). _Onna, I will _not_ allow either of these brats to... baby-sit me!_ he growled with heavy distaste. _I am _not_ a child, damn it, and I refuse to be treated like one!_ "Braba nottadan refaba!" he gurgled, unconsciously sucking on his tail when he was finished protesting. 

Unlike his previous outbursts, this one caught Bulma's attention, and the blue haired beauty frowned down at the spiky haired chibi in her lap. Wrapping her hand around Vegeta's tail, she gently pulled the slobbery end out of his mouth and wiped it off on her shirt. 

_Huh?_ Vegeta blinked at the appendage his mate now held in her hand. _How'd that get in my mouth?_ His eyes widened as he suddenly realized he had been sucking on his tail _again_! _I am the Prince of all Saiyans! I do _not _suck on my tail!_

"We'll need to get his tail cut off, of course," Bulma thought out loud, absentmindedly tickling Vegeta's nose with the tip of his own tail. The infant prince sneezed and grabbed at his tail, missing by a few inches as Bulma pulled it back. Then what she said caught up with him, and his eyes widened with horror. 

_What?! _Vegeta yelped. _Onna, there's absolutely no reason to cut my tail off! A tail is a Saiyan's pride and a source of strength and I will _not_ allow you to cut mine off! The only good thing that's come out of this whole mess is regaining my tail, and you want to cut it off!?!_ He lunged at his captive tail with renewed determination, this time managing to grab hold of it and yank it free, though doing so made him wince. Apparently, his tail was as sensitive as it had been as a child, and not 'desensitized' like it had been when he had first fought Goku. But right now that didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that his mate was plotting to remove his tail! Clutching his tail to his chest protectively, he glowered up at the female's amused face. _What are you smiling about, woman?_ he growled. _This is serious!_

"Why do we need to cut his tail off, Bulma?" Goten asked curiously, speaking up for the first time since he and Trunks had walked in. He found he was having a hard time keeping a smile of his own face, since he found it incredibly funny that mean old Mr. Vegeta kept chasing after his tail and sucking on it. He kind of _wanted_ the baby to keep his tail! 

"Well, two reasons, Goten," Bulma answered truthfully. "For one thing, it'd be safer for him if we had it removed. Saiyan tails are rather sensitive, so he could easily get hurt if someone stepped on it, or if it got caught in a door, or a million other things happened to it. He's helpless now, so he can't protect himself from things like that." 

_So be more careful around me!_ Vegeta raged, letting go of his tail so he could shake his fist angrily in his mate's direction. _Sensitivity and vulnerability is no excuse to remove a Saiyan child's tail! If it were, no Saiyan in existence would have a tail at all!_

"The other reason," she continued obliviously, "is that Saiyan tails are just plain dangerous. I mean, imagine if he got a good look at the moon! He'd go 'ape' on us and might accidentally kill innocent people before someone could stop him!" 

"But, Bulma, you forgot!" a new voice interjected suddenly, catching all four off guard. Four heads snapped up in the direction of the voice - well, Vegeta's head only turned in that direction, as he was still on his back in Bulma's lap - to discover the pleasantly smiling face of Goku in their midst. "There's no danger of the baby going oozaru, Bulma. Don't you remember? Piccolo destroyed the moon and no one ever brought it back." 

"Daddy!" Goten cheered, running up to hug his father's leg. Goku smiled and ruffled the child's hair affectionately before turning his attention back on Bulma and the chibi in her lap. 

Cradling Vegeta in her arms, Bulma stood up and gave her old friend a sunny smile. "Goku! How long have you been here?" 

The spiky haired Saiyan scratched the back of his head and grinned in the way his family was known for. "Well, just long enough to hear you talking about cutting off the baby's tail. I was eating lunch over at Master Roshi's house when I noticed someone using the dragonballs to summon Shenlong. I figured it was probably Goten and Trunks, so I finished eating, locked onto their ki and used my Instant Transmission to get here and, well, here I am!" he finished cheerfully. "Anyway, like I said, there's no moon, so there's really no danger in letting him keep his tail. We'll just have to be more careful around him, same as me and Chi-Chi did when we first had Gohan." 

"Hmm... I guess you're right, Goku. And his tail _is_ rather cute!" Bulma giggled. 

A feeling of intense relief washed over the tiny Saiyan and he unknowingly began to smile. _I could almost thank you for that, Kakarot. Not that I'd ever tell you that, of course._ Yes, he was more than pleased that he would get to keep his tail after all. _Who knows? When the onna finds a way to change me back into an adult, maybe I'll get to keep my tail! _Now _that_ would be something to look forward to! 

"He's a cute little tyke, isn't he?" Goku grinned, holding his arms out. "May I hold him, Bulma?" 

Vegeta's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest vehemently, but wasn't given the chance as the blue haired woman deposited him in his long time rival's arms. "Why, sure, Goku! Be my guest!" A smirk that was uncannily similar to a certain Saiya-jin no Ouji's crossed Bulma delicate features when Goku cradled Vegeta in his arms, making silly faces. _Damn, I wish I had a camera!_

The relief that Vegeta had been feeling from having his tail spared vanished like a pricked bubble, replaced instead by humiliation and outrage. _Let go of me, you third class baka! How dare you play with me, the Prince of all Saiyans, like a baby! How dare you even touch me! I swear, when I get my normal body back, I'll kill you! Now PUT ME DOWN!_ Curling his hands into little fists, he determinedly pounded on the larger Saiyan's chest, growling as menacingly as his childish throat would allow. 

"Well, aren't you a strong one?" Goku laughed, not at all fazed by the baby's attacks. "I'm sure you'll grow up to be quite the warrior someday! Say, Bulma?" He tilted his head to peer at his friend inquisitively. "Why didn't you tell me you and Vegeta had another baby?" Grinning broadly, he gently tossed Vegeta in the air and caught him on the way down, ruffling his hair affectionately. "He looks just like his dad!" 

Vegeta's first response to being launched into the air was to use his ki to control his momentum, but the moment he tried to summon his energy, he came to the sudden realization that his ki was either too low for flight, or his body was incapable of controlling ki. Growling his frustration with this discovery, he glared up at the man who, at this moment, literally held Vegeta's fate in his hands. _Why the hell does everyone immediately assume that I'm someone else's baby?! Although I don't suppose I could expect anything else from _this_ baka! If you drop me, Kakarot, I swear I'll kill you, wish you back, and then kill you again!_

"Actually, Goku," Bulma chortled. "That _is_ Vegeta. When Goten and Trunks summoned the Dragon, Trunks accidentally wished his father like that." 

"WHAT?!" Goku yelped, his eyes as wide as saucers, shifting from Bulma to the baby in his arms, and back again. "You're kidding! Vegeta's a baby?!" At Bulma's nod, the defender of Earth gaped down at Vegeta, stunned beyond words for several long moments. Slowly, a large grin spread across his face, a grin that held a hint of mischievousness. "I _never_ would have thought Vegeta was such a cute baby! Is he all baby? Or just his body?" 

_I am _not_ cute!_ Vegeta protested angrily, pounding a chubby little fist against his rival's chest again. 

"All baby," Bulma confirmed, watching in amusement as Trunks and Goten began sneaking out of the room while Goku was distracted. Not that it would do them much good. They'd have to face the consequences sooner or later. "He was sucking on his tail half the time I was talking to Trunks and Goten, and that's not something I can imagine Vegeta would do if he was aware of his actions." 

Nodding thoughtfully, Goku caught the chibi prince's fist in his hand in mid-punch. "Well, if he's all chibi," the physically older Saiyan reasoned, the spark of mischief gleaming in his eyes as he cradled Vegeta in one arm. "Then he won't mind if I do _this_!" Quick as lightning, the fingers of Goku's free hand danced across Vegeta's ribs, tickling him mercilessly as the broad grin returned to his face in full force. 

Unable to control his body's reactions, Vegeta began to giggle helplessly, squirming under his fellow Saiyan's fingers in a futile effort to escape. Inwardly he was cursing both Goku and himself, the baka for humiliating him like this, and himself for being unable to do anything about it. _Curse you, Kakarot!!_ "Hehehehehehehe!!" he laughed, shrieking and batting at Goku's hand in an attempt to fend him off. Unsuccessfully, of course. 

"Wow, it's hard to believe that's Vegeta!" Goku laughed, letting his fingers come to a stop. "I mean, I don't think I've ever seen Vegeta _smile_, let alone _laugh_!" 

The instant Goku's fingers stopped tickling him, the chibi Vegeta opened his mouth and screamed out all the humiliation, frustration, anger, and indignation of the past few minutes. _KAAKAAROOOT!!!_ "WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" 

~*~ 

Wow, this chapter ended up pretty long (by my standards). But I just couldn't find a good stopping place! Not that any of YOU are complaining. *grins* 

By the way, I do NOT have a mailing list for this story, so please don't ask to be notified of updates. I may eventually form a mailing list, but not now. Sorry! 

You know the drill. Please review. ^_^ 


	4. Tail Woes, Furniture, and Baby Clothes

*waves cheerfully* Hey there! I finally got another chapter of this story written! Thank you all for your patience. Now, it might seem like it took me a long time to write something since the last thing I posted (referring to WFTP) but I didn't slack off the whole time! I spent a good week or more sketching, inking, coloring, and scanning an illustration for this story! Yes, for your viewing pleasure, I bring you "Chibi Vegeta - All Tucked In", in color and black and white versions! It's Vegeta as a one year old baby, tucked into bed and ready to suck on his tail. This image can be viewed exclusively at my mediaminer account (I'm known as Burenda there as well) or in my own personal web page where I keep a lot of my art (link available in my profile.) Comments are greatly appreciated! (E-mailed or included in your review for this chapter is fine. ^_^) 

With that bit of self-advertisement, on with the story! 

Disclaimer: It's not fair! I don't own DBZ!! *sniffles* All I own is this old and moldy cupcake that I forgot I'd been saving and has been sitting in this cookie tin for weeks now.... I don't suppose Akira Toriyama would trade DBZ for my cupcake, would he? 

**Chibi Vegeta**   
(Tail Woes, Furniture, and Baby Clothes) 

"Awww, poor little guy," Bulma cooed, smoothing Vegeta's hair as the little baby continued to bawl his head off in Goku's arms. "Shhh... don't cry, Veggie-chan. It's okay." 

_No, it is _not_ okay!_ Vegeta screamed wordlessly._ Not only have I just been subjected to the humiliation of being _tickled_ by that brain damaged, soft hearted, low class idiot, but I _giggled_ in response!! I am the Prince of all Saiyans! I DO NOT GIGGLE!!! _Pausing to inhale deeply, the spiky haired chibi screwed up his face into an expression of utter fury, even as he tried to kick Goku with his pudgy feet. _AND DON'T CALL ME VEGGIE-CHAN!!_ "Docamma vecan!!!" 

Seeing that Vegeta was not to be mollified by mere words of comfort, Bulma held out her arms, looking up at Goku as she said, "Here, Goku. Let me hold him. He probably just misses his mommy, whoever she was, so maybe if he's held by a woman he'll calm down." Smiling down at her infant husband, the blue haired scientist felt a surge of pity and maternal protectiveness for him. After all, with his mind reverted to the age and memories he had as a baby, chibi Vegeta would be feeling disoriented and lost here on Earth, separated from the only family he'd recognize at his age. He was a helpless orphan child who needed someone to care for him, and Bulma felt that someone should be her - his mate, or future mate, depending on how you looked at it. 

Vegeta was about to protest the allegation that he "missed his mommy" but was cut off when Goku shifted him to rest against his shoulder, rather than passing him off to Bulma. "Actually, Bulma, there's an easier way to calm him down," the tall Saiyan stated good naturedly, a smile tugging at his lips as fond memories resurfaced in his mind. "Let me show you something Chi-Chi and I learned when we were raising Gohan. You wouldn't know about it, I don't think, 'cause you had Trunks's tail cut off right after he was born." 

_What are you talking about?_ Vegeta growled even as he tried to shove himself away from his rival, not wanting to be held in any position that was even remotely affectionate by his hated enemy. He was, unfortunately, unsuccessful. Goku's hold on him was simply too strong for an infant to have any chance of altering it, though that didn't mean he would let that keep him from trying. Far be it from him to _accept_ his condition! _What does my son's tail have to do with 'calming me down'?_

Bulma watched in fascination as Goku supported the baby with one arm, lifting his free hand to rest on Vegeta's fuzzy brown tail... and then calmly proceeded to stroke the length of the furry appendage, keeping his movements slow and rhythmic. Realization as to what the other Saiyan was doing crashed into Vegeta's shocked and outraged mind at the same time as a wave of warmth and well-being that enveloped him like a comforting blanket. Opening his mouth to angrily protest what was happening to him, the little prince was horrified to find that the only thing that emerged from his throat was a soft purring noise, a sound he had not made in many, many years - not since he was a child and still had his tail. It was the sound of a happy Saiyan baby. And it was being caused by Kakarot. 

A burning rage flared up inside Vegeta's mind at the infantile behavior he was exhibiting and at his hated rival for causing it in the first place, and he started to weakly struggle in Goku's arms, fighting the effects of having his tail petted. He even managed a small growl past all the purrs, curling a fist with the intent to pound it against his captor's chest. Unfortunately for Vegeta, however, the effects of the tail petting were too great, easily overpowering his feeble attempts to resist, and the prince's mind was quickly submerged in a fog of drowsiness that stifled all conscious thought. Free of any directives from his brain, his child body was able to react as any normal Saiyan baby would to having his tail stroked like this. Curling up in the arms of whoever was holding him, Vegeta continued to purr contentedly, his eyelids drooping as he became more and more vulnerable to the sleepiness that was creeping up on him. It had, after all, been a rather stressful afternoon for him, and his body was only that of a baby, not having much energy and needing plenty of naps, and that tail petting was so very relaxing. With a little yawn and a final adjustment of his position to make himself more comfortable, Vegeta's eyes closed completely and he fell into a blissful sleep. 

~*~ 

A few moments of awed silence passed after Vegeta dozed off, broken only by the sound of his soft snores, as Bulma openly gaped at the scene before her. Logically, she understood that this wasn't the Vegeta she knew, that this was her husband back when he was only a child and that he naturally wouldn't hold the same grudges and prejudices that the grown man did. Even so, it was still utterly _weird_ to see him first purring and then sleeping peacefully in the arms of the man he hated most. 

"Wow," she muttered to herself, gradually overcoming her shock. "I wish I'd known about that when Trunks was born - I'd have let him keep his tail for a while and saved myself a lot of trouble getting him to sleep! Not to mention all the times he pulled a fit over something..." 

Still stroking Vegeta's tail to make sure he stayed firmly planted in the land of dreams, Goku chuckled wryly. "It doesn't work quite like that, Bulma. Sure, petting his tail might help calm him down, but if he has something to be genuinely upset about - like if he got injured or if he's hungry - it wouldn't do much good. That is," he amended, "if he's like Gohan was at that age. He was probably already tired to begin with, he just needed to relax a bit before he could fall asleep." 

"It still would have been useful for all those times when Trunks was tired but too stubborn to go to sleep, or just fussing over nothing," Bulma argued back. "Maybe if I have any other children, I'll let them keep their tails - for a little while anyway." She pursed her lips as she looked at the sleeping Vegeta speculatively, then held her arms out again. "Here, give him to me, Goku. We need to get a diaper and some clothes on him, and I'll need your help getting out the old baby furniture." 

Goku nodded and passed the sleeping chibi over to his blue haired friend, being careful not to wake him up, and followed Bulma out of the lab and down the halls of Capsule Corporation. His mouth twitched with amusement as he watched Bulma cradle her small husband lovingly and ruffling his spiky black hair, acting a lot more like his mother than his mate. In response to this, the naked child murmured quietly, his chubby fingers unconsciously curling around a fistful of Bulma's shirt. Fortunately, he didn't wake up, instead settling back into the blissful slumber of an innocent baby. 

After walking down the hall for a ways, Bulma finally stopped at a door and waited for Goku to open it before stepping through. Inside a moderately size room - for Capsule Corp., anyway - were stacked dozens of boxes and disassembled baby furniture. "I decided to store Trunks's old things in this room, rather than in capsules, because the capsules probably would have gotten lost before I'd need them again," Bulma explained. "You know how my parents are about losing or misplacing things. Besides, this has a more 'nostalgic' feel to it; I can just walk in and reminisce about Trunks's childhood any time I feel like it, without actually having to set anything up." Smiling at the memories embodied by the objects within the room, the blue haired genius shifted Vegeta to a more comfortable position and started examining the various boxes and furniture. "Okay, there's the crib, and there's the changing table..." she nodded her head in the direction of the items in question. "That box has some clothes that would probably fit him... Hmmm... and a play pen. We'll definitely need a play pen... now where could it be...?" 

While Bulma searched for the elusive play pen, Goku set to work pulling the indicated boxes out into the hall to separate them from the rest. Bulma still hadn't located the play pen, so Goku set about looking through the assorted stacks of toys and clothes to see if it was hiding behind one of them. "Say, Bulma," he said thoughtfully as he peered behind a table with miscellaneous boxes piled on time. "What about the diapers? Did you keep any from when Trunks was a baby, or are you going to have to buy some new ones?" 

"Hmm..." Bulma mused over the question for a moment, leaning against the wall while she did so. "I might have, Goku, but even if I did I don't think we could use them. The last diapers I bought for Trunks were meant for two and three year olds, so they'd be too big. We'll just have to use a cloth diaper until I can buy some in Vegeta's size. Old fashioned, I know, but I liked to be prepared for anything. They should be in that box right behind you, the one labeled "Cloth Diapers." Examining the label on another large box, she grinned triumphantly and nodded her head in its direction. "Hey, I found the play pen!" The human female eyed the pile of stuff that her Saiyan friend had accumulated in the hall and nodded approvingly. "Okay, I think that's all we need for now. After I get Vegeta dressed, I'm going to take him shopping. We'll need special diapers for him, since he has that tail of his. Maybe we can used the kind of diaper they use for the animal people? If all else fails, I supposed I could just poke holes in the back of some normal ones...." 

Dragging the last of the boxes Bulma had indicated out into the hall, Goku shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Sorry, Bulma, I don't know what to suggest. Chi-Chi only ever used cloth diapers for Gohan, since it was too far to the nearest store and I didn't have my license then." Placing his hand behind his head, he laughed wryly. "And you know as well as I do how much she doesn't like me carrying her through the air for long distances. I think she just hates not being in control. Anyway, cloth diapers were more convenient, and cheaper, since they're reusable, so that's what we used. We never had a problem with fitting them around Gohan's tail beyond having to pin them up around his tail so they wouldn't fall off." 

"Hmm... Well, I think I'm going to look into buying diapers from somewhere rather than use cloth diapers," Bulma said, shifting the sleeping baby in her arms to another position so her arms wouldn't become too tired. "Disposable diapers would be much more convenient for me to deal with, if I can find some that would accommodate Vegeta's tail. If I can't find anything else, then I guess I'll just have to go with cloth diapers." Spotting one last item of interest in the storage room, the beautiful scientist darted back inside and pulled the baby stroller out from behind a stack of baby books. "Perfect!" she crowed. "This is exactly what I'll need for when I take Vegeta shopping with me! In fact, I could probably use it right now." With an expert use of one arm and her legs, Bulma managed to set the stroller up and gently deposited her burden in the seat of the baby blue contraption. "Whew, that's much better! He may only be a baby, and a somewhat small one, at that, but he still weighs in your arms! Now, to get some clothes on him..." So saying, she knelt down next to the box with the diapers in it and pulled out a piece of cloth and three diaper pins. 

Always one to be helpful, Goku eyed the various boxes of disassembled furniture and gave he friend a questioning look. "Bulma, do you want me to help set these up for you?" 

"Oh, Goku, would you?" Ignoring the diaper for a moment, Bulma gave the younger man her most winning smile, hoping to get out of the task of setting up furniture completely. "In fact, why don't you do that while I take Vegeta shopping? I should probably take Trunks with me, too. I've been meaning to buy him some new clothes for a while now, and that way he'll be out of your hair while you're doing that." 

"Sure thing," was Goku's amiable reply to Bulma's request. "I'm sure Chi-Chi won't mind if I'm gone a little longer, just so long as I'm not late for dinner." The younger man reached down and easily hefted the boxes of furniture, started off down the hall towards the room that had once been Trunks's nursery. 

"Ha! As if _you'd_ ever be late for dinner, Goku!" Grinning in a teasing manner, Bulma returned to her task of folding the square of cloth and setting her sleeping husband on top. Grabbing a diaper pin from the three she had selected earlier, she hurriedly began to pin the diaper around Vegeta's waist, eager to escape the odious chore of trying to puzzle through the instructions of furniture assembly. In her haste, she grabbed the third and final pin, the one which would pin the diaper up around Vegeta's tail, rolled the chibi onto his tummy so she could gain access to the back of the diaper - which he somehow miraculously managed to sleep through - and poked the sharp point through the cloth and straight into the baby's tail. 

"Wah!" Vegeta yelped in pain, eyes snapping open with a wince. Fortunately for him, the pin had only poked him a little, barely breaking the surface of the skin, but considering the sensitivity of a Saiyan's tail, it was still painful enough to bring him to a rude awakening. Tears involuntarily leaked from the corners of his eyes even as he flipped himself onto his back to face whatever had attacked his tail. 

"Oh, Vegeta, I'm so sorry!" cried Bulma, dropping the diaper pin so she could scoop him up in her arms to give him a comforting hug. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Smothering him with kisses, she stroked his tail as Goku had shown her in an effort to prevent his sniffles from developing into a full fledged wail. Vegeta was less than appreciative. 

_Woman, stop that!_ "Woona dabat!" he protested, squirming futilely in his mate's arms. Spotting the dropped pin, it wasn't hard for him to guess what weapon had been used to inflict him with the pain that had woken him up. _As if a little pin like that could hurt me!_ When the prick in his tail throbbed a bit, he silently amended that statement. _Much. But that's beside the point! Stop petting my tail! I am not a baby!!_ "Nodda bee!" Much to his annoyance, a few involuntary purrs slipped from his throat in response to his mate's ministrations. 

Hearing Vegeta's purrs and his lack of crying, Bulma naturally assumed that her efforts had been successful, and she smiled triumphantly. "There there, you're okay," she cooed, tickling his chin affectionately. "Just let me put this last pin on your diaper, then we can get you dressed and ready to go shopping!" So saying, she once again her chibi husband belly down on the ground, swiftly fitted the diaper around the Saiyan baby's tail, and pinned it there before he could so much as protest. She turned him over again and left him laying face up on the ground while she rummaged through a box of clothes for something suitable for him to wear. 

Vegeta's eyes widened and he froze in shock and horror at the implications of the human woman's words. His eyes traveled down to his waist where they met with the unwanted confirmation of what his mate had just said. There was a diaper fastened snugly around the lower half of his body. _He_... was wearing... a _diaper_. A gurgling growl rumbled from his tiny chest as visions of the graphic mutilation of his firstborn son - the cause of this whole entire mess, and thus the person to blame for his current humiliation - passed through his mind accompanied by a vicious bloodlust. _When I get my hands on that brat-_

"Here we go!" Bulma cheerfully interrupted his mental tirade, holding up a simple blue shirt with a little yellow star on the front. Pulling Vegeta into her lap, she shoved the neck of the shirt over his head in a manner that left his hair spiking out in odd directions, then began to work on pulling his chubby arms up and into the sleeves. "Y'know, it's too bad I don't have any onesies or pants with holes for your tail. Guess you'll just have to go in only a shirt and diaper. Oh well, that's what this shopping trip is for - to get you some clothes that will fit!" 

_Ack! Onna, let go of my arm! I can get them through on my own, and your 'help' is causing more trouble than it's solving!_ "Wah! Nalego marm! Gehm too mahn heccamo tabblesa!" As soon as his arms popped out of the sleeves and Bulma had tugged the shirt down around his torso, he scowled and waved a fist in her direction. _And if you think I'm going shopping with you, think again! We have plenty of perfectly good clothes for me to wear from when Trunks was a baby - just poke a hole in the back or let me go without pants entirely! And I certainly won't need very many since you _are_ going to change me back _without delay!!! 

Smoothing Vegeta's hair back into its usual wild position, Bulma chuckled with amusement. "Well, you're certainly in a talkative mood! That nap must have been just what you needed to perk you up. Come on, let's go find Trunks." Plopping the scowling child in the stroller she'd extracted from the storage room, the slim genius buckled him in and strode off down the hall, following the mother's intuition that told her where she'd probably find her son. 

_You know, for someone whose mate has been turned into an infant, you're taking this whole thing pretty damn well,_ Vegeta grumbled to himself, fiddling with the seat buckle in an attempt to open it. So far, it wasn't working very well. The stupid mechanism had apparently been made proof to the probing fingers of curious and mischievous children, thus preventing the young prince from making an escape should his mate turn her back on him. He tried simply crushing the damn thing in his hands, but that effort also proved fruitless. He was either too weak or the material used to build it was too strong for him to even damage it. It didn't occur to him that maybe it just hadn't entered Bulma's mind yet that perhaps this condition couldn't be solved with technology, that they might have to wait a full year before returning him to normal. Nor did it occur to him that perhaps the novelty of the situation hadn't worn off yet, that the full implications of Vegeta's condition hadn't sunk in yet. No, all he knew was that his blue haired mate was acting too damn cheerful about the whole situation and didn't seem concerned in the slightest, and, frankly, that annoyed him to no end. 

Not to mention the fact that he still hadn't figured out a way to convince the people around him that he was still in full possession of him mental faculties. 

~*~ 

"Come on, Goten! Quit fooling around! When my dad changes back to normal, if he finds out we were the ones who turned him into a baby in the first place, he's going to kill us! We have to train so we're strong enough that he can't beat us to a bloody pulp!" Trunks stood facing his best friend, a white aura of energy dancing around his body and an impatient look on his face. His hands curled into fists as his body shifted into a defensive stance, ready to attack or defend at any moment. 

"But, Trunks, I thought we were hiding from your mom so we wouldn't have to help out with your dad bein' a baby!" the younger demi Saiyan protested. The two boys were inside the now vacant gravity room, which Trunks had activated so that a full 100 times Earth's gravity was pulling down on their bodies. Powering up enough so that he could remain upright, Goten gave his friend a confused look. "Besides, I'm not the one who made the wish! That was you, Trunks!" 

Trunks rolled his eyes in exasperation at the seven year old's logic. "Do you think my dad'll care about that, Goten? In his mind, anything that I do, you do too!" _Which is usually the case,_ he added silently. "Now come on and power up! If we can become Super Saiyans, then maybe we can keep my dad from killing us! We're close, Goten, I just know it! We just need to train harder!" 

"Okay, Trunks," Goten agreed, excited by the prospect of becoming a Super Saiyan like his brother and his father. Besides which, he enjoyed sparring with his best friend no matter what the reason. The only reason he'd protested was the ingrained need to hide his ki when hiding from someone, since most of the people who would be looking for them could sense ki. Trunks had just convinced Goten that the need to train outweighed the need to hide, even if their spar got cut short because they were found. 

Half an hour passed as the two boys traded blows, challenging their limits as they fought against each other and the gravity that weighed their bodies down. Both were breathing heavily from their physical exertion, but neither was ready to call it quits yet. In their minds, they could see the image of golden hair and magnified energy as just a few more punches and blows away, tantalizingly close if only they reached just a little further. Thoroughly engrossed in their fight, they were, of course, taken completely off guard when the gravity suddenly shut up and Bulma stepped inside, pushing a stroller containing a slightly disgruntled baby Vegeta in front of her. 

"I thought I'd find you in here, knowing how much you two love to fight, and the small explosions were something of a giveaway." Smiling knowingly, Bulma folded her arms and gave the two a mildly reproving look. "You two aren't getting out of your punishment that easily, you know. Trunks, you're going shopping with me. I need someone to help me keep an eye on Vegeta while I find some clothes that will fit him and his tail. Goten, your dad is helping to set up the baby furniture in Trunks's old nursery, and I want you to go help him." 

Twin looks of dismay passed across the faces of the two demi Saiyans, although Trunks's was a little more desperate than Goten's. "But, mom-" 

"No 'buts,' Trunks!" Bulma firmly cut through the budding protest. "You're coming shopping with me and Vegeta, and that's final!" Seeing that Goten looked ready to protest his task as well, she turned her glare to the black haired boy and pointed a finger at him. "As for you, Son Goten, I'm sure your father will think of something for you to do, and you can be sure that I'll talk to Goku when I get back to see if you helped him." 

"But couldn't I go with you, Bulma?" Giving her his best Son Puppy Eyes (TM), Goten hoped that if he had to help out with the baby stuff, then maybe he could at least be with his best friend at the same time. "I could help watch the baby, too." 

The thought of going shopping with both Goten and Trunks sent a shudder up the spine of the woman who had been brave enough to travel to Namek and later to come with the Z Warriors just so she could get a glimpse of the dreaded Frieza. She had once made the mistake of allowing both boys to accompany her and, needless to say, the outcome of that shopping trip had been bad enough that Bulma had sworn never to bring both boys shopping with her ever again. Not without tranquilizer darts, anyway. _Heavy_ tranquilizer darts. "No, Goten. You're staying here with your father. Now, no more complaining. I'm not going to change my mind." So saying, Bulma took hold of her reluctant son's hand and guided him out of the gravity room, pushing the baby stroller with her other hand, leaving Goten to sigh in resignation as he made his way back into Capsule Corp. to find his father and help set up baby furniture. 

~*~ 

A lot of this chapter was filler material, I know, but I needed to set up for the next chapter. This was also a fairly LONG chapter! I was expecting to get this completed a few days ago, but I couldn't cut it off until I got in all the events that needed to happen before the next chapter. Sorry if it's not really all that funny, but as I stated in the first chapter, I don't know exactly how funny this whole story will be. Amusing, yes, but I doubt I'll reach Frozenflower quality humor on a regular basis. *wry smile* 

Yes, Bulma seems to be taking things rather well, but I have a good explanation for that. However, the explanation won't happen for another chapter or two, so please don't complain that she seems to be taking this incident _too_ well. 

Vegeta _will_ react to what Goku did to him, he just didn't really remember it upon waking up. There were other things on his mind, after all. *wry smile* 

As for Goten and Trunks not being able to go Super yet... *shrugs* No one really knows exactly when they first make that transformation, and they're only just barely seven and eight years old. Besides which, I felt that it would be more appropriate for this story if they couldn't become Super Saiyans. Yet. If that's not excuse enough for you, then I call on the mighty powers of Willing Suspension of Disbelief! *grins* 

Something interesting I came across while writing this chapter: "Onesy" is, apparently, not a word. It doesn't appear in either my huge, unabridged dictionary OR my slang dictionary, despite the fact that I have heard so many men and women (mostly ones who have children *grins*) use it. It's a type of baby's clothing that's one piece with snaps in the crotch and sometimes on the arms and legs, depending on the type of sleeves and legs that the thing has. I thought it rather amusing that, even as commonly as this word is used, it isn't considered a word. *wry smile* 

Last, but not least.... mailing list! After much deliberation, I decided I WILL have a mailing list for this story after all! So, if you want to be notified whenever I put up a chapter, you can do one of two things. 

1) In a review, leave your e-mail address and STATE that you want to be on the mailing list. And, people, PLEASE don't just sign in and expect me to open your ff.net account to find your e-mail address on my own! Some of you don't even have your e-mail address available to the public, and it's a pain to do that on my ancient, slow computer! 

OR 

2) In an e-mail sent to brook_tamlin@yahoo.com give me your e-mail address (if different from the one you're sending from) and state which story you want to be on the mailing list of. I have more than one mailing list, so you need to be specific. 

Well, that's all for now! Please review. ^_^ 


	5. Appropriate Attire?

I'd like to give a really BIG thank you to all my reviewers! Honestly, there were times when the only thing that kept me writing was looking through my review box and reading all the supportive and positive reviews you all have sent me. I'd also like to thank you for giving me ideas. Even if I don't use them, sometimes they inspire me with other ideas, and inspiration ALWAYS helps. 

Thank you all so much! 

Disclaimer: Bardock: *glares at Brenda* Remind me again why I'm doing this? I thought I only signed on for Wish For The Past! I'm not even IN this story, so why the hell am I doing the disclaimer?! 

Brenda: Bardock, mind your language! There are chibis present. And you're doing the disclaimer because I'm tired and because I said so. 

Bardock: Chibi Vegeta doesn't qualify, woman! You and I both know he's an adult in mind, if not in body! 

Brenda: Vegeta's not the only chibi involved in this story, Bardock. *points to Trunks, Goten, and a few others who may or may not show up in the story* They're here, too! 

Bardock: Okay, okay, I get the point! No swearing in front of the kids. *snorts* Which reminds me... I'm still upset with you for- 

Brenda: Would you just shut up and do the disclaimer already?! You know, I could easily add you to this story if I wanted... *threateningly* 

Bardock: *pales* Don't even think about it! *quickly turns to the audience* Brenda doesn't own DBZ, so don't sue her. *scowls at Brenda* There, I did the disclaimer. Can I go now? 

Brenda: Yup! ^_^ 

Bardock: Good! *stalks off* 

**Chibi Vegeta**   
(Appropriate Attire?) 

_ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!_ "Abanooot!!!" Vegeta howled in outrage, shoving the offending garment away from him whenever Bulma tried to hold it up to his body to see if it would fit. If he could have, he would have ki blasted the thing until there was nothing left except for a pile of smoking ashes, had in fact tried to do just that... and failed. He'd held out his hand and concentrated on bringing all of his energy into one point in the center of his palm, and nothing had happened. _Nothing_. No beautiful ball of blazing energy, no burning ray of heat and light, no dazzling sparkle of ki gathering in his hand. There hadn't even been a flicker of light to chase away the tiny shadows in the creases of his skin! It was as though he no longer had command of his energy! Either that or he simply didn't have enough energy in his body to use for such a purpose, but that was something Vegeta patently refused to believe. He knew for a fact that when he was a baby, he'd had more energy than some adult Saiyans could achieve in a lifetime, and _they_ could certainly use it to form attacks. So why couldn't he?! He had the knowledge and the power, so why couldn't he use it!? 

"Oh, come on, Vegeta. Hold still!" Once again, Bulma tried to press the outfit against Vegeta's body in such a way that she could imagine what he would look like with it on. It was a shame the store wouldn't allow her to actually try the clothes on him, but she understood the policy. After all, if they allowed mothers to actually let their infants wear the clothes before they were bought, some baby might spit up - or worse - on them, making it improbable that they would ever be successfully sold off. "It'll only take a second!" 

But Vegeta would have none of it. Scowling with determination, he suddenly grabbed the hanger and a fistful of cloth, tugging with all his might in an effort to pull it from Bulma's grip. Apparently this change in tactic worked, because the blue haired woman was startled into loosening her grip on the clothing just enough that Vegeta was able to pull the thing from her fingers. With a triumphant gurgle, the chibi prince hurled the disgraceful object onto the floor, then glared up at his mate. _I will _not_ allow you to buy that... that... _thing_!! And don't you even _dare_ think about making me wear it!!_ "Nodda badat! Donna da bamakame wadit!" 

"Honestly, Vegeta!" Bulma harumphed with annoyance, picking the falling clothing up off the floor. "This isn't a difficult thing to do, you know! Just hold still and let me see what you look like in it!" 

"Umm... mom?" Trunks hesitantly dared to interject. Looking at the outfit in his mother's hands, the eight year old shuddered and muttered a grateful prayer to Dende that he was not the one Bulma was trying to buy clothing for. "Maybe dad just doesn't want to wear a dress..." 

_Damn right, I don't!! I am the Prince of all Saiyans and I am a _male_ and I DO NOT WEAR DRESSES!!!_ "Danadon! Ama pinnasans an amama ana donna waddassas!" Waving an angry fist in the woman's direction, chibi Vegeta tried his best to growl warningly, but failed to produce anything more than liquid gurgle in the back of his throat. Much to his dismay, this attempt not only met in failure, but it also caused a small trickle of drool to spill out of the corner of his mouth and trail down his chin. 

"Nonsense, Trunks. He's just a baby," Bulma denied absentmindedly, suddenly overcome by the urge to giggle at her husband. The sight of him _drooling_ was just so funny, especially considering that it was _Vegeta_ who was drooling! _Damn, I wish I had a camera! That's just so cute! I'll have to remember to buy one while we're here._ "Babies don't care what their clothes look like. Vegeta's just being fussy, that's all. There's a good baby," she cooed, using a corner of his shirt to wipe the drool off his chin. 

_Grrr... will you stop treating me like I am nothing more than a mindless child!?_ Embarrassed by his involuntary and childish accident, Vegeta grimaced and pulled his head away from his mate's hand as soon as she had cleaned up any evidence that he had ever drooled. Waving his fist in protest, he added, _I am NOT a baby, and I am NOT being 'fussy!'_ "Naba fuss!" 

"Hmm... but you may be partially right, Trunks," Bulma suddenly conceded, holding the dress up to eye level so she could eye it critically. She abruptly hung the yellow and blue striped dress back on the rack she'd gotten it from - much to Vegeta's relief - and started pushing the stroller away. Thinking that his mate had finally given up looking at baby dresses, the little prince gave the offensive garment a final glower and settled into a more comfortable sitting position in the stroller, smirking faintly in contentment. Time to move on to the _boys'_ clothing. 

"Huh?" Trunks was confused. How could he be partially right? His dad either liked dresses, or he didn't. There was no in between! "What do you mean, mom?" 

"I mean," Bulma replied, jerking her head back in the direction of the striped dress, "that maybe Vegeta just doesn't like _that_ dress for some reason." A gleeful smile lit up the blue haired terror's face as her eyes focused in on a wall display containing shoes, socks, hair bows, hats... and more dresses. With a happy little cry, Bulma grabbed her son's hand and promptly changed course, heading straight for the deadly wall of girly delight. 

Vegeta's expression immediately turned to one of horror and panic. _No! Don't you even _dare_ think about it, woman!! Do NOT go anywhere _near_ that wall! I swear, if you take one more step in that direction, I'll... I'll..._ Vegeta stumbled mentally, brought up short by the realization that he couldn't actually carry out any of his normal threats. Destruction, torture and a painful demise were all well and good when you were one of the strongest beings in the universe, but just what did you use to command someone's respect when you were trapped inside the body of an infant?! _Damn it, I can't even deny the woman my skills in bed! _After all, he couldn't very well withhold something that was beyond his current abilities anyway! Tugging futilely at the seat belt of his stroller, Vegeta scowled darkly and finally resorted to the only threat he had left in his once plentiful arsenal. _When I get my adult body back, I'm going to make you regret doing this to me,_ he sulked. 

Oblivious to her husband's protests - all Bulma had heard was a string of nonsensical babbling - the lovely president of Capsule Corporation came to a stop right in front of the portion of the display that held the dresses. They were all beautiful dresses, with sashes and bows, lace and ruffles, made from materials that ranged from cotton to silk to leather and everything in between. It only took her a moment to spot a dress that, to her, was nothing short of perfect, and it was with a triumphant grin that Bulma snatched it off the wall and held it up for her son and her chibi husband to see. "Here we go!" she cheered. "He can't _possibly_ have anything against _this_ dress!" 

Of course, clueless genius that she was, Bulma had no idea just how wrong she could be. 

Vegeta looked as if he was about to fly into an apoplectic fit. _THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD _EVER_ CONSIDER WEARING THAT ATROCITY!!_ he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Nowadava werdasee!!" So great was his outrage that words, no matter how articulate, were unable to express it adequately. So, he did what he would have done if he had still been an adult: he screamed. A wordless roar of fury that had never failed to make it clear to any and all around him exactly how he felt. Unfortunately for Vegeta, he had never been trapped in the body of a one year old baby, either. What was intended to be a vocal expression of rage became twisted and distorted by the unwieldy vocal cords of a child, so much so that when it exited his mouth, it did not sound anything at all like what it was supposed to. "WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" 

Clapping his hands over his sensitive ears in a vain attempt to muffle his father's piercing wail, Trunks could hardly blame the baby for his reaction. Just looking at the dress made him want to cry, too, although probably for different reasons. When his father had his adult mind and body restored, if he knew that Bulma had gone _dress_ shopping for him, he'd likely explode, especially if he saw _this_ dress. It was a frilly pink thing with a lacy white ruffle around the collar, pink and red roses embroidered around the waist, and silky red ribbons at either side made to tie in the back. All in all, it was beautiful, it was pink, it was feminine, and it was the most humiliating thing anyone could possibly think of to try to clothe Vegeta, _Prince_ of all Saiyans, in. 

"Oh, Vegeta, what's wrong?" Bulma asked, finally expressing some concern at her chibi husband's behavior. Not giving him a chance to respond, she smiled sweetly and rubbed his belly. "I bet I know what the problem is. I completely forgot that you're a _Saiyan_ baby! You're probably starting to get hungry, aren't you? Well, don't you worry. As soon as we finish shopping for clothes, we'll get some baby food for you, then we'll go home and get you fed. I guess I should cut the shopping trip short, then, and only pick out a few outfits. We can come back on another day when we're more prepared." 

_Which will be never!_ growled Vegeta, shutting off his angered wail as soon as he realized what he was doing. _When we get home, you are going to find a way to reverse the effects of that stupid wish, and then we will _never_ come back here again!_ "Whibee ner! Nega oma goffin waddaver saffes sawish anava bakaga!" Glaring at Bulma, he tried to push her offending hand away from his stomach, despite the poor luck he'd had so far with trying to use physically force on his mate with this child's body. He was therefore somewhat surprised - pleasantly so - when this apparently convinced her to discontinue her humiliating actions. Bulma pulled her hand away from his tummy. 

But he didn't have enough time even to smirk victoriously before Bulma suddenly thrust the frilly pink dress up against his chest. "I still want to see what he would look like in this dress," the blue haired woman stated with a giggle, oblivious to the mixed expression of surprise, horror, and outrage that flashed across Vegeta's face. 

"Mooom!!" Trunks whined, embarrassed for his father. It didn't matter if Vegeta could understand what was going on or not, it was still humiliating to see his mother trying to dress shop for him! "Why are you even looking at dresses in the first place?! Dad's not a girl!" Sure, he'd asked this same question a half dozen times before, and received the same answer every time, but that didn't stop him from asking again. 

"I know that, Trunks," came the calm reply. Bulma was starting to get tired of answering a question she'd already answered six times, but she knew that it was the prerogative of eight year old boys to repeatedly ask questions, even the same one over and over, until it made you want to tear your hair out. "But Vegeta's just a baby, so he won't mind, and I've never gotten a chance to dress up a little girl. How many more chances am I going to have to get to do something like this?" A small scowl briefly marred the beauty of the woman's face, and she added, "It's not like I'm going to have a daughter someday, not the way Vegeta balks every time I bring up the subject of having another child!" 

That last sentence came as a surprise to both Trunks and Vegeta, since all the previous times Bulma had answered the question she'd stopped before coming to that. Vegeta glared heatedly at his mate, even as he kicked and squirmed uselessly under the humiliatingly pink dress. _I am NOT a baby and I sure as hell DO mind, woman!! Get that ridiculous... _thing_... away from me!_ "Nodda bee! Shasahal domin! Gedar dicalsing waffama!" Still, he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that he had indirectly been the cause of his own torment. _To think that I could have avoided this whole thing if I'd just given in to the woman's wishes and conceived another brat..._

"Hey, Bulma! Fancy meeting you here!" a cheerfully nasal voice called out from a couple racks away, drawing the trio's attention away from the issue of the pink dress. Vegeta only had time for a small groan before Krillen stepped into their aisle, followed by his femme fatale wife, android #18, and their three year old daughter, Marron, clinging tenaciously to the both of them. Taking in the scene before him, Krillen's eyes immediately went to the chibi in the stroller and his face lit up with delight. "Awww, what an adorable baby! Bulma, shame on you for not telling us you'd had a second child! We may live on an island in the middle of the ocean, but we _do_ have a telephone, you know." The short man with poofy black hair leaned over the stroller a little, shaking his head in mock exasperation. "Hmph. It just goes to show: you think you know a person, and then they do something like this," he said to Vegeta, smiling fondly. 

Dress momentarily forgotten, the one year old 'adult' scowled at the human and shook a fist in warning. _What the hell gives you the idea that I'm the woman's child?!_ Vegeta griped out loud, even though he knew that his words would come out unintelligible. "Waddaha gadadee amans kal?" He was rather vexed that in his current state he actually had to look _up_ to meet the short man's eyes, especially since Krillen had been one of the few Z-Fighters that he had been able to literally look down on. In fact, he couldn't even call the other man a weakling anymore! Not when he himself was a helpless infant! _You're the second person to assume I'm her son! Well, I'm not, I'm-_

"Hehehe," Krillen chuckled in amusement, interrupting Vegeta's mental tirade. "She looks just like her father! Poor kid even has his hair!" Gazing at the "girl" with pity in regards to her unfortunate parentage, Krillen couldn't help but ruffle her spiky hair affectionately. He had to admit, though, that the dress Bulma was currently checking her out in looked pretty darn cute on her! 

Turning his head to address Bulma and congratulate her on the new addition to her family, Krillen was surprised to see that both Bulma and Trunks were gaping at him like fish out of water, looking so startled he could almost have sworn that someone had goosed them, except that there wasn't anyone behind either of them. The undersized warrior scratched his head in confusion and opened his mouth to ask them what was wrong, but was cut off before he could even get one word out. 

_I AM NOT A GIRL!!!! _Vegeta screamed at the top of his lungs, his entire face turning a fiery shade of red that would put many a sunset to shame. "NADDA GAAAAAHH!!!!" Almost literally boiling with anger, so much so that he would not have been surprised if steam had starting pouring out of his ears, the young prince threw aside the pink abomination and lashed out furiously at the hand that that wretched man had dared to place on _his_ head. _Get your filthy hands out of my hair, you misbegotten piece of gutter trash! Every prince in the royal line of Vegeta-sei since time immemorial has had this hair, and you will neither touch it nor insult it!! _At that moment, it was Vegeta's most sincere wish that he have the ability to blast the offending idiot into so many pieces that even the Eternal Dragon would have a hard time putting him back together. _AND I AM NOT A GIRL!!!!_ he reiterated the most important of his protests, feeling it necessary to drive that particular point home. "NADDA GAAAAH!!!" 

Needless to say, this reaction was not what Krillen was expecting from such a cute baby "girl," and he jumped a little in surprise when her tiny fists started batting harmlessly at his hand, accompanied by several piercing screams. "Great," he grumbled, pulling his hand away from her head. "She even has Vegeta's attitude. Yow!!" he yelped, clapping his hands to the back of his head where both Bulma and #18 had just whacked him. "What'd you do that for?!" 

"You're upsetting the baby, Krillen!" #18 growled in annoyance. "And I for one do not want to listen to it screaming its head off!" Eyes flashing coldly, the blonde haired bombshell lifted Marron up to give her a comforting hug and a pat on the back, then added, "Nor do I want my daughter to start crying, and you know how easily she gets upset when she hears other children crying!" 

"Not to mention the fact that that is _not_ my child!" Bulma snapped, picking the dress up off the floor where it had landed. She wasn't so much angry at having someone mistake Vegeta for her child - on the contrary, it pleased her to think that other people still thought of her as young enough to have more children. She knew all too well that her childbearing years were nearing their end, that in other year or two at most she would wake up one morning and realize that she was officially an old woman. No, that wasn't what was making her angry. It was the stares from all the nearby shoppers, emotions on their faces ranging from concern to irritation, that was causing the heat to rise in Bulma's face. Nor did it help that Vegeta's crying was starting to give her a headache! And then there was the matter of exactly what Krillen had just said.... "And my husband is not a girl!!" 

"Your WHAT?!" Krillen's eyes were practically popping out of his head as he gaped from the women to the baby in the stroller and back again. "What do you mean, your husband?! OW! Stop hitting me!!" 

"I will when you stop making a public scene!" Bulma yelled back at him, fist raised and ready to strike a third time. She smirked in satisfaction when the shorter man cowered away from her, then folded her arms and glared threateningly at the small ring of spectators who had been attracted by all the commotion. The wealthy scientist's blistering gaze had the effect of scattering the customers like a flock of birds. "Yes, my husband," she clarified, nodding her head in Vegeta's direction. "Trunks and Goten managed to get their hands on the dragonballs and accidentally wished Vegeta into a baby." 

"Fascinating," #18 commented in her normal monotone voice, arching an eyebrow as she looked at Vegeta speculatively. "If this is Vegeta, then _why_ are you shopping in the _girls'_ section? One normally shops for boys in the _boys'_ section of the store." 

"Yeah," Krillen piped up defensively. "It's not my fault I thought he was a girl! I mean, I didn't know it was _Vegeta_ and it's not like I could tell what gender he is right away, especially with that dress on top of him! Speaking of which, why _were_ you looking at dresses? Vegeta is a _boy!_ Unless..." The vertically challenged man's eyes widened in an alarmed manner as a thought crossed his mind that was both seriously disturbing and unthinkably hilarious at the same time. Reeling with shock at the possibility, he gasped, "Bulma, the boys didn't turn Vegeta into a girl, too, did they?!" 

"Of course not!" Trunks was indignant at the mere suggestion and made no secret of it as folded his arms and he glared up at Krillen. "I don't think even _Goten_ would be stupid enough to make _that_ wish, not even by accident! I know _I_ certainly wouldn't!" 

Bulma snorted in amusement. "Says the boy whose misworded wish changed his father into a baby!" Sighing regretfully, she hung the pink dress back on the wall display and turned to face Krillen and #18. "To answer your question, I guess you could say I was playing "dress-up" with Vegeta, wishfully dreaming of having my own baby girl. He's a baby in mind as well as in body," she added in explanation, "so he wouldn't mind." 

"You mean he doesn't realize what's going on?" Krillen asked incredulously. "I mean, he isn't aware that he's an adult, or a prince, or anything? Does he even remember anyone?" 

"Not that I know of. It's hard to tell, since he doesn't know how to talk, but I'd be willing to bet that the wish made him exactly the way he was when he was a baby the first time, memories and all." Bulma shrugged. "He hasn't given any indication that he remembers anything beyond that." 

_Yes, I have! You just haven't been paying attention, stupid woman!_ Vegeta sulked. Inwardly, he was relieved to see the pink horror go back in the display and safely away from _him_. Now if only his mate would _leave_ this section of the store.... 

"For a woman whose husband has just been turned into a baby, you seem to be taking this pretty well," #18 observed dryly, setting Marron back on the ground. Marron immediately toddled over to the stroller and peered curiously at the chibified Vegeta. Vegeta simply scowled and waved his fist in an attempt to shoo her away. _Get away from me, brat._ Oblivious to any meaning behind his gestures, the three year old girl laughed and grabbed his hand. 

"Look, mommy!" she chirped as she held up her prize, earning a smile from her mother. Vegeta glared and yanked his hand away. 

Grinning at the interaction between the two children, Bulma replied, "Well, it's not like this is going to be permanent. I _am_ a genius, you know, so it shouldn't be any problem for me to invent something that will change him back. All I have to do is create a machine that will age his body and restore his memories - nothing I can't handle, I'm sure - which will take a week, maybe two. I can deal with that. It's not like it'll be any different from taking care of him as an adult! All he ever did was train, sleep, and make loud demands for me to get him something to eat. Except for the training, that's all a baby ever does, so it won't be much different than before." 

#18 arched an eyebrow. "You seem pretty confident. What if you can't change him back?" 

"Nonsense," Bulma scoffed, folding her arms in a way she must have learned from her husband. "Once I put my mind to something, nothing can stop me! It's only a matter of time before Vegeta's back to his bad old self, trust me. Until then, I think I'm going to enjoy taking care of him as a baby." Smiling fondly at the black haired baby, she reached down and tweaked his nose. "And he's a lot cuter as a baby, aren't you, Veggie-chan?" 

_Don't call me that!_ "Docamma da!" Vegeta protested angrily, pulling his nose out of his mate's hand with a twist of his head. Actually, his ire was somewhat diminished by his mate's confidence that she could restore him to his former self. While he had doubts that she could have found a way to restore his memory, that wasn't a problem in this case, since he still _had_ all his memories intact. The fact that Bulma thought she could create something that would age him was reassuring because, though he'd never admit it, he actually had a lot of faith in his wife's ability as a scientist. When she said she could do something, she usually did it, and often times with better results than she had projected. 

At the use of such an endearing - or insulting, depending on your point of view - nickname, the situation finally hit home in Krillen's mind. "You mean to say that, for the time being, Vegeta's completely helpless, and oblivious to anything we do to him?" A large and mischievous grin spread slowly across the former monk's face, making him look like a cat who knew it was about to get into a carton of cream. "This is gonna be fun." 

~*~ 

First off, let me thank Sabrina for the suggestion about bringing Krillen and #18 into the story. I had intended to bring them in eventually, but for some reason it just hadn't crossed my mind that they could come in NOW. *grins* Of course, this changed my plans for the shopping trip, but that's okay. I think it turned out for the better anyway. 

Let's see... oh, yes, Bulma. I hope this chapter adequately explained why she isn't exactly alarmed by Vegeta's condition. Of course, I hope that I don't need to remind my readers that in a torture fic such as this, nothing ever goes right for the victim. *smirks* The only thing I'll say in regards to Bulma's plans to invent a solution is this: Pride goeth before the fall. 

I THINK I got everyone who asked to be on the mailing list, but I might have missed someone. If you didn't get notified (or if you wish to be on the mailing list) let me know. Be sure to give me your e-mail address! DON'T refer me to your profile, because my computer is having glitches right now that makes it so I can't view the e-mail addresses in ff.net profiles. Seriously. 

I really can't think of anything else to say at the moment, so I'll just shut up now and hope for reviews. ^_^ 

**Author Note **(12/23/03)**:**   
**_THIS STORY IS ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE._**   
No, I'm not giving it up, and I'm not relegating it to the humungous pile of never-to-be-finished stories. I just won't be updating for an unknown amount of time. 


End file.
